I am sad.
Deeply sad.
A sadness that is somehow scarier than the anger, because the anger is an expression, and the sadness just sits.
I want to share my sadness with the world. Somehow I believe that if everyone in the US felt the sadness I feel about Gaza, no massacre would happen ever again, anywhere. Part of my sadness, though, and my fear, is that I am not sure whether this is true.
Unread e-mails sit in my inbox. I still haven’t watched the video plea from the doctor in Gaza whose three daughters were killed. I still haven’t read the testimony of the nine-year-old boy whose father was shot and killed in front of him while his hands were in the air. Or the girls who walked out of their house carrying white cloths and were shot and killed on the spot. Or all the children who somehow survived with no food for days as they lay next to their dead relatives’ rotting bodies or crawled to nearby buildings to wait out the bombing. I read the headlines only, and then I stop. I cannot continue.
I received an e-mail today from an American Jew I know who has just entered Gaza to deliver humanitarian aid. She shares one story: “I met a mother who was at home with her ten children when Israeli soldiers entered the house. The soldiers told her she had to choose five of her children to "give as a gift to Israel." As she screamed in horror they repeated the demand and told her she could choose or they would choose for her. Then these soldiers murdered five of her children in front of her.”
The nightmare of reality is truly more horrific than anyone could imagine. And yet I worry that if I share this story, or any number of others that are flooding my inbox, some might not believe them. They are almost unbelievable. And yet. Story after story. I worry that some might dismiss the unbearable suffering of 1.5 million people as mere propaganda. And I worry, quite selfishly, that I cannot handle the doubts right now. That I am holding all this sadness and all this anger and that my faith in humanity is on the line, and one more person who dismisses a tragedy as propaganda, or one more person who justifies massacre in the name of security or self-defense, might just break me.
So I wonder if I should share these stories. I go back and forth. If this mother’s five children were still alive, would Israel’s army be any more moral? If the 1,312 Palestinians killed in the past month were still alive, would Israel’s 18-month siege of Gaza be justified? If Israel had never occupied Gaza in the first place, would it have any more right to exist as an ethnically and religiously exclusive state?
I search for the roots, I write from the roots, I act from the roots. Israel is bad from inception, Zionism is wrong, and we need to boycott until all Palestinians have rights. Yes. This is true. But right now I’m thinking of this mother. And all the mothers. And wondering if this pain can just spread, spread until it is diffused. I’m wondering if the world can hold this pain, just for a moment. Hold it collectively. I don’t want to have to fight anymore. I don’t want to answer questions about why “they” hate “us” and I don’t want to resent the lightheartedness of strangers on the street. I just want this to stop.
I know, of course, that for it to stop, we must know where it started. Tomorrow I will get back to working on that. But right now, right now, let us just hold the people of Gaza in our hearts and hope that somehow, against all odds, they will rebuild their lives, that soon they will get a full night’s sleep without nightmares, and that sometime they will feel joy again.
-Hannah
P.S. And because I can’t end any e-mail without sharing more resources, check out the new website www.thinkpalestineact.org. It has lots of great multi-media and popular education tools regarding Gaza and Palestine in general. And keep checking it. It will grow. And check www.endtheoccupation.org for updates about campaigns throughout the country and for ways to engage President Obama (I know, I know, maybe naïve, but I do believe that the image of Obama, if not the man himself, has created the biggest opening we’ve had in electoral politics in a long time).
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Gaza: Day 18
*At the bottom are suggested resources and action items for Gaza.*
Eighteen is a significant number in Judaism. It means life. Today is day 18 of Israel’s war on Gaza. More than 935 people in Gaza are dead, with thousands more injured. Taking the total population into account, this is equivalent in US terms to about 200,000 Americans. That’s right, two hundred thousand Americans dead in less than three weeks.
I turned on the news for an hour yesterday. Across the bottom of the screen, over and over again, ran the statement, “Israel says only targeting Hamas, not civilians.”
#1: Bullshit! A third of the people murdered so far have been children alone. The equivalent of 65,000 American children. The Israeli army is not so sloppy as to miss its targets 300 times. Are they deliberately killing civilians? Perhaps it is a matter of semantics. I’m not so sure they said, “Let’s kill Miyasar Abu Maatak and her four young children today,” but they certainly aren’t trying NOT to. In other words, at best, the Israeli army is targeting no one, and therefore potentially hitting everyone.
#2: Huh? Only targeting Hamas, not civilians? Suppose someone bombed the US and then tried to justify it with, “We are only targeting Republicans, not civilians.” If you protest, “But the two are not mutually exclusive. In fact, most Republicans are civilians,” the response would come: Sure, but Republicans are in control in the US, and therefore should be held responsible for every crime committed by an American while they are in power. (I am not even talking here about the massive war crimes committed by the US government itself, which gives much more legitimate reasons for bombing the US).
And so, once again, we are in the twilight zone. Where houses, schools, universities, and mosques are fair targets. Where Israel can close all entrances and exits to Gaza and then become indignant that people dig tunnels to transport necessary goods between Gaza and Egypt. Where Israel claims to be humanitarian because it stops indiscriminately bombing for up to 3 hours a day (and even during this short time, people are not safe; on Sunday 14 people were shelled and killed in these hours). Or because it drops leaflets as a precursor to bombs, warning the residents of Gaza to leave the area. Leave what area? Nowhere in Gaza is safe, and the people are closed in from all sides.
I watched the new for only an hour yesterday, and cannot get the images out of my head. Parents crying over dead children. Injured children being rushed to the hospital in ambulances, in taxis, on foot. The interview with a 16 year old boy whose mother and four brothers were killed in the attack on the Samouni family in the Zeitoun neighborhood last week (soldiers forced the entire family into one house, supposedly for their safety; the next day it was bombed). Were there 30 people killed there? 70? Accounts vary, mostly because the Israeli army will not allow journalists or ambulances to approach the neighborhood. One young EMT, exhaustion and trauma written all over his face, explained to Al Jazeera how he and others were able to enter a few houses yesterday and pull out the injured only after parking the ambulance 2 kilometers away from their intended destination and passing by 9 dead bodies on the road. Are these bodies counted in the 935? What about those in the houses the EMTs did not reach?
I saw these images, heard the stories, and heard the desperate pleas of Gazans and internationals (UN officials, EU parliament members, and more), the smug assertions of the Israeli army that their operations are going well, and the smirking George Bush as he once again blamed Hamas for the actions of the Israeli army. I wanted to throw something at the television. After less than an hour of news, I, a nonviolent person by disposition, felt my anger and hatred lead me to thoughts and desires I rarely have, some of which would actually harm me and my loved ones. I can only imagine what people living through this horror must feel. Or Arabs and others throughout the world with less personal connection to the enemy, be it Israelis, Americans, or Jews. I must admit I have little concern at the current moment for Israel’s safety, but if Israeli leaders have any concern at all for their own people’s safety, what the hell are they doing?
The princess of Dubai, a humanitarian official with the UN, gave an exacerbated interview in which she talked about the anger of the Arab streets and the dire humanitarian situation in Gaza. “What scares me most,” she said, “is that the news is repeating itself day after day, and those in the West can just turn it off.”
Shortly later, I turned the television off. I couldn’t bear it anymore. But we must not turn off our opposition. Running across the bottom of the screen, right after, “Israel says only targeting Hamas, not civilians,” is “World protests continue over Gaza war.” It is important. It may not seem like it right now, but whenever this does stop, it will be sooner for the protest. The people of Gaza cannot afford our inaction.
Take action:
US Campaign to End the Occupation – info on lobbying, protests, and more: www.endtheoccupation.org
Donate money for emergency supplies: http://www.mecaforpeace.org/
Media monitoring / letters to editor: http://www.writetruth.org
Buy a Gaza t-shirt, or 10: http://247463.spreadshirt.com/-/-/Shop/
This is more long-term, but no better time than now to launch a boycott campaign against Israel: http://bds-palestine.net/
Recommended articles:
“What You Don’t Know About Gaza” by Rashid Khalidi: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/08/opinion/08khalidi.html?_r=2&em
“A 14-year-old in Gaza Has One Question: Why?” by Eyad El-Sarraj: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2009/01/11/a_14_year_old_in_gaza_has_one_question_why/?rss_id=Boston+Globe+--+Today%27s+paper+A+to+Z
“Hello, this is the IDF” by Muhammad Ali Khalidi: http://www.counterpunch.org/khalidi01052009.html
For more about the attack on the Samouni house in the Zeitoun neighborhood: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/jan/10/gaza-zeitoun-attack-deaths
Recommended sources for constant information:
Al Jazeera: http://english.aljazeera.net/
Blog of Sameh Habeeb (journalist in Gaza): http://www.gazatoday.blogspot.com/
Democracy Now: http://www.democracynow.org/
Electronic Intifada: http://electronicintifada.net/
Free Gaza Movement (the folks who have been sending boats to break the siege for a few months now): http://freegaza.org/
And more. A good combination of news, resources, and action: http://gazasiege.org
Eighteen is a significant number in Judaism. It means life. Today is day 18 of Israel’s war on Gaza. More than 935 people in Gaza are dead, with thousands more injured. Taking the total population into account, this is equivalent in US terms to about 200,000 Americans. That’s right, two hundred thousand Americans dead in less than three weeks.
I turned on the news for an hour yesterday. Across the bottom of the screen, over and over again, ran the statement, “Israel says only targeting Hamas, not civilians.”
#1: Bullshit! A third of the people murdered so far have been children alone. The equivalent of 65,000 American children. The Israeli army is not so sloppy as to miss its targets 300 times. Are they deliberately killing civilians? Perhaps it is a matter of semantics. I’m not so sure they said, “Let’s kill Miyasar Abu Maatak and her four young children today,” but they certainly aren’t trying NOT to. In other words, at best, the Israeli army is targeting no one, and therefore potentially hitting everyone.
#2: Huh? Only targeting Hamas, not civilians? Suppose someone bombed the US and then tried to justify it with, “We are only targeting Republicans, not civilians.” If you protest, “But the two are not mutually exclusive. In fact, most Republicans are civilians,” the response would come: Sure, but Republicans are in control in the US, and therefore should be held responsible for every crime committed by an American while they are in power. (I am not even talking here about the massive war crimes committed by the US government itself, which gives much more legitimate reasons for bombing the US).
And so, once again, we are in the twilight zone. Where houses, schools, universities, and mosques are fair targets. Where Israel can close all entrances and exits to Gaza and then become indignant that people dig tunnels to transport necessary goods between Gaza and Egypt. Where Israel claims to be humanitarian because it stops indiscriminately bombing for up to 3 hours a day (and even during this short time, people are not safe; on Sunday 14 people were shelled and killed in these hours). Or because it drops leaflets as a precursor to bombs, warning the residents of Gaza to leave the area. Leave what area? Nowhere in Gaza is safe, and the people are closed in from all sides.
I watched the new for only an hour yesterday, and cannot get the images out of my head. Parents crying over dead children. Injured children being rushed to the hospital in ambulances, in taxis, on foot. The interview with a 16 year old boy whose mother and four brothers were killed in the attack on the Samouni family in the Zeitoun neighborhood last week (soldiers forced the entire family into one house, supposedly for their safety; the next day it was bombed). Were there 30 people killed there? 70? Accounts vary, mostly because the Israeli army will not allow journalists or ambulances to approach the neighborhood. One young EMT, exhaustion and trauma written all over his face, explained to Al Jazeera how he and others were able to enter a few houses yesterday and pull out the injured only after parking the ambulance 2 kilometers away from their intended destination and passing by 9 dead bodies on the road. Are these bodies counted in the 935? What about those in the houses the EMTs did not reach?
I saw these images, heard the stories, and heard the desperate pleas of Gazans and internationals (UN officials, EU parliament members, and more), the smug assertions of the Israeli army that their operations are going well, and the smirking George Bush as he once again blamed Hamas for the actions of the Israeli army. I wanted to throw something at the television. After less than an hour of news, I, a nonviolent person by disposition, felt my anger and hatred lead me to thoughts and desires I rarely have, some of which would actually harm me and my loved ones. I can only imagine what people living through this horror must feel. Or Arabs and others throughout the world with less personal connection to the enemy, be it Israelis, Americans, or Jews. I must admit I have little concern at the current moment for Israel’s safety, but if Israeli leaders have any concern at all for their own people’s safety, what the hell are they doing?
The princess of Dubai, a humanitarian official with the UN, gave an exacerbated interview in which she talked about the anger of the Arab streets and the dire humanitarian situation in Gaza. “What scares me most,” she said, “is that the news is repeating itself day after day, and those in the West can just turn it off.”
Shortly later, I turned the television off. I couldn’t bear it anymore. But we must not turn off our opposition. Running across the bottom of the screen, right after, “Israel says only targeting Hamas, not civilians,” is “World protests continue over Gaza war.” It is important. It may not seem like it right now, but whenever this does stop, it will be sooner for the protest. The people of Gaza cannot afford our inaction.
Take action:
US Campaign to End the Occupation – info on lobbying, protests, and more: www.endtheoccupation.org
Donate money for emergency supplies: http://www.mecaforpeace.org/
Media monitoring / letters to editor: http://www.writetruth.org
Buy a Gaza t-shirt, or 10: http://247463.spreadshirt.com/-/-/Shop/
This is more long-term, but no better time than now to launch a boycott campaign against Israel: http://bds-palestine.net/
Recommended articles:
“What You Don’t Know About Gaza” by Rashid Khalidi: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/08/opinion/08khalidi.html?_r=2&em
“A 14-year-old in Gaza Has One Question: Why?” by Eyad El-Sarraj: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2009/01/11/a_14_year_old_in_gaza_has_one_question_why/?rss_id=Boston+Globe+--+Today%27s+paper+A+to+Z
“Hello, this is the IDF” by Muhammad Ali Khalidi: http://www.counterpunch.org/khalidi01052009.html
For more about the attack on the Samouni house in the Zeitoun neighborhood: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/jan/10/gaza-zeitoun-attack-deaths
Recommended sources for constant information:
Al Jazeera: http://english.aljazeera.net/
Blog of Sameh Habeeb (journalist in Gaza): http://www.gazatoday.blogspot.com/
Democracy Now: http://www.democracynow.org/
Electronic Intifada: http://electronicintifada.net/
Free Gaza Movement (the folks who have been sending boats to break the siege for a few months now): http://freegaza.org/
And more. A good combination of news, resources, and action: http://gazasiege.org
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